Monday, 23 August 2010

What makes a mother?

My darling Doodlebugs


I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," he replied
With confidence in his voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this
God I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

I love you, my precious babies


My darling Doodlebugs,

after I put Bella back in the still-warm bath tonight because she threw up all over her clean pjs, and after I had kissed Cecily's head because she bumped it when she was rearranging her dogs before she went to sleep, I cried from tiredness. Then I cried with sadness for the old-yous, the ones you were and will never be again, the little babies I will have no more of to hold and swaddle and smell. Then I cried with joy at the yous you are becoming: at Cecily whose vocabulary expands daily, who is smart and funny and who, with complete abandon, at unexpected and oftentimes inconvenient moments, will throw her arms around your legs in a hug or kiss you with as-yet-unknown passion; at Annabel whose smile is given so freely that you cannot help buut beam back, who screeches with unbridled delight as the dog races past, or her sister makes her laugh, who has such joy in every waking moment and whose ear presses so firmly against my inner arm as she dozes that it leaves a perfect imprint. And thus the tears for the then and the now dried as I smiled at the future that stretches before us all, me and my beautiful, funny, loving, gifted girls. How blessed we are to have you to show us how to be parents.

“Walk a little slower Daddy” said a child so small
“I’m following in your footsteps and I don’t want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they’re hard to see;
So walk a little slower Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I’m all grown up,
You’re what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who’ll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So walk a little slower Daddy,
For I must follow you.

With all my love, my darling girls,